Lone Ranger 12-inch figures

I have committed a mortal sin. I have taken the Disney Store 12-inch John and Tonto dolls out of their boxes. There is a special place in Barbie Hell for collectors who remove items from boxes....

I ordered Tonto from the Disney Store website, which still has plenty of them online for half price. The doll was $12.99 plus $4.92 shipping plus $1.39 for tax.

However, the John Reid doll was made in more limited numbers, and the Disney website no longer has them. I ordered mine from Toy Wiz for $36.99 plus $7.62 shipping.

In other words, the combined price on my credit card was $63.96. I figure that if I had purchased them both at the regular price earlier this summer from Disney online, the dolls still would have been about $31.98 apiece.

So here are the details about the dolls that the websites won't tell you. I took photos of both the fronts and backs of the boxes. The backs tell you a little about the characters, and include photos of the actors.

Getting the guys out of the boxes was quite a chore. Years ago Mattel listened to Barbie buyers' complaints (both from collectors and parents who struggled to debox dolls) about how tightly packed in the dolls were and how removing them from all the tape and twist ties ruined the dolls' hair. Disney needs to take some advice from Mattel because it took me 45 MINUTES TO REMOVE BOTH JOHN AND TONTO FROM THEIR BOXES! Nuking the boxes would have been more efficient!

So, as for the outfits: They are beautifully sewn. John's coat and vest are sewn together. Tonto's outfit is a soft brown felt. John's coat and Tonto's pants are tagged. The most elaborate piece is John's shirt. Although not what Armie wore in the movie, it reminds me of an incredibly realistic white shirt I once found for a Man from UNCLE doll by Gilbert. (DANG, I SHOULD NOT HAVE RESOLD THE THING! ARMIE NEEDS IT NOW!) Tonto's headdress is molded vinyl, and the crow is separate. The bird will not stay on Tonto's head at all, even though there is actually a little comb under the crow's tail that's supposed to slide into Tonto's hair.

Tonto's hair is beautiful and my Cher doll is jealous--it is better than hers.

Okay, so now for the big question. What do the action figures look like NAKED?

I nearly fell over laughing as I undressed the two guys. The ever-proper John has black skivvies. Tonto is going commando. I could not figure out how to get Tonto's breastplate over his head. Both are marked Disney/China on their lower backs, with the stock numbers stamped on them. The boxes do not have the stock numbers, so John's is 13065 and Tonto's is 13114.

As I mentioned before, the Tonto head looks like an effeminate Johnny Depp. John does not look like Armie Hammer at all. The hair is too dark and the face is too heart-shaped. The eyes are his--and I swear they follow you around the room--as is the nose. But I think John's entire head does not match the body properly--it's too big. The arms are jointed, but the knees are difficult to bend. Years ago Paul David told me that he always bends his dolls' knees because it puts less pressure on the inner wires when the doll is lying flat.

I am telling you all this because it is inevitable that when you go garage-sale-ing 10 years from now, you will probably find one of these guys stashed with a bunch of Barbies, all naked, in a brown cardboard box, and you will think, "That's not Ken!" but have no idea who he is.